It's OK to be Inconsistent
By Jeff Keller
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"Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force." - Tom Blandi
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About 10 years ago, I wrote an article on the virtues of
consistency and the evils of inconsistency. I made some
valuable points in that article, but if I were to re-write it
now, I would not be so harsh in my evaluation of
"inconsistency."
In this message, I am not referring to consistency and
inconsistency as they apply to the completion of physical
tasks. We want consistency when it comes to a brain surgeon
operating on us. We want consistency when we entrust our
packages to a courier service to make an overnight delivery.
I'll be addressing inconsistency in these two contexts:
- Changing your mind, such as on a political, social or
spiritual issue.
- Allowing for individual assessments of situations, as
opposed to following a uniform rule. (such as the penalty to
be given to two people who break the same law).
Yes, inconsistency has its place in our lives. It is not the
villain we make it out to be. Most of us fight our
inconsistent thoughts and beliefs, as if they should be
avoided at all costs. The mind looks for consistency. It
feels safe following the set of "rules" it has previously
followed. We often think we are showing weakness if we are
inconsistent.
Consider your political beliefs or your beliefs on any subject
(such as prison systems, the environment, world peace, or
feeding the hungry). Have your beliefs changed at all in the
last 20, 30 or 40 years? If they changed, you haven't been
consistent in this area. One time you believed one way. Now
you believe another way. So what? That's a good thing, not a
bad thing. In all likelihood, your life experiences have
shaped your beliefs over time. Five days from now, your
beliefs may change again.
For a moment, lets' examine your thoughts and philosophy as
they relate to raising children. Would you say that your
approach now is exactly the same as it was when your first
child was born? Perhaps you do have the same views, but
there's an excellent chance you learned something over the
years that caused you to alter your original viewpoint. Your
approach now would be inconsistent with your earlier approach.
If you're learning and growing as a person, I'd expect you to
change some of your beliefs, to be inconsistent over time. I
confess that I've changed many of my beliefs over the years,
and I expect that pattern to continue. Life isn't that easy to figure
out, and I have a lot to learn. It would make no sense to strive for
consistency, so I try to remain open and not get locked into any
positions.
In certain instances, we feel that consistency must be
maintained, without exception. Love and honesty are two
examples that quickly come to mind. Can we ever justify being
inconsistent in these areas?
We'll start with love. If you were being attacked by a madman
with a club, would you extend loving thoughts to the attacker
and let him continue to pound you? Or would you defend
yourself and hit him back? No matter how loving you claim to
be, I'm guessing you would use force and harm the madman if
that was necessary to stop the attack.
Here's another example. Many of us would say that all forms
of life are sacred. If a mosquito landed on your arm and was
about to bite you, would you swat or kill the mosquito?
Crushing the mosquito doesn't seem like a loving act, but you
know that is what most people would do in that circumstance.
Let's move on to honesty. Is it important to always be
honest, or is it acceptable, under certain circumstances, to
be dishonest? Assume a father and his 10 year old son are in
a terrible car accident. The father was immediately killed
and the son is in critical condition, his life hanging by a
thread. You are a nurse in the hospital emergency room.
Although the boy is groggy, he looks up at you and says, "Is
my dad ok?"
The doctor next to you whispers in your ear, "Tell him his dad
is ok, because he can't handle the news right now in his
condition." Would you insist on being honest in this
situation... or would you lie to the boy? Isn't lying the
loving choice in this example?
Life is not black and white. We can't be consistent all the
time, as situations will arise where our heart tells us to be
inconsistent. There are times we know that being inconsistent
is the right thing for us to do.
It is the mind that demands consistency of beliefs and
practices. The spirit honors consistency but realizes that
consistency is not always the wisest approach. Don't get me
wrong. I love consistency. I like to interact with people
who are consistently loving, consistently honest, consistently
dependable. I want our legal system to be relatively
consistent.
Yet I know inconsistency has its virtues. I expect people to
change their minds on certain issues as they learn and expand
their life experience. I believe that rules, while valuable,
can't fit every situation - and that bending the rules
sometimes makes sense. Justice is often served when we are
willing to be inconsistent.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that consistency is for "small
minds." I agree. I've found that our spirit is capable of
making the right decision in each moment. It doesn't have to
look back and see what we did the last four times a similar
situation arose.
Let your mind scream all it wants about the "need" for
consistency. Feel free to change your mind. Feel free to be
inconsistent and exercise some discretion when you think the
situation calls for it. Your heart knows when to break the
rules, or when to shift beliefs. Your heart knows that it's
ok to be inconsistent.
About the Author
Jeff Keller publishes Your Spiritual Journey, an e-mail newsletter that is
published on Tuesday and Friday of each week. The newsletter
does not promote any particular religion but respects and
embraces all religions and spiritual beliefs. The newsletter
is designed to help you find or strengthen your own spiritual
connection - and to see the "bigger picture" that so often
gets lost in today's world.
If you are not yet on the mailing list, go to
http://www.YourSpiritualJourney.net and sign up. You'll also
receive a complimentary copy of the e-book, "If You Could Ask
God."
